Thursday, 17 August 2017

Dont worry be happy

I choose what some might consider insanity, I choose to dance in the street, to sing out loud even though I can't sing to give my true opinion regardless if it's a popular one or not to laugh when I want to laugh to cry when I want to cry.

My life has thrown me into some pretty dark and depressing situations, I was as a teenager assaulted by two older guys with a knife, I was hit by a hot and run driver and I was beaten to a bloody pulp in a robbery just for starters. Throw on top epilepsy, dyslexia and some PTSD and for years there was a real recipe for some grade A self hatred. It was a burning hatred which made me think I was broken, stupid, evil and deserved everything that had ever happened to me.

I chose to watch weird B movies, to collect and try to maintain the history of retro games, to try to expand my horizons, I chose to be eccentric, I dared to be different. I choose to give zero fucks if other people thought I was strange or if they didn't understand me. I decided to stand proud, to tell the world this is me, I am who I am wether you like it or not.

It was a very dark path for me at times, but as far as I am concerned I am now walking in the sunlight and I am much happier for it, I suppose I am writing this because there is something inside of me that wants to reach out to everyone and tell them "just be who you are, dance when you want to dance, sing when you want to sing, don't let anyone hold you back and don't let anyone tell you who you should be, how you should act, find your own path and do what you need to do so you can love your life and love yourself".

I still have my moments now and then as every living person will but I think I'm on a much better place than I have ever been. There are a lot of reasons for this a wonderful brilliant girlfriend, a great daughter but another big section of it can be pinned on the fact I have just changed my outlook slightly, I have stopped caring what most people think and stopped allowing people to pull me down.

I guess I am saying try to be youself and to be truly happy with who you are.

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